{"title":"Best Sellers","description":"\u003cp\u003eOur funniest and most popular hats, tees, and hoodies. Bold gear for people who dress for themselves.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"warning-i-do-stupid-shit-t-shirt-funny-hazard-text-graphic-tee","title":"Hazardy \"Warning: I Do Stupid Shit\" Hazard Text Graphic Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eAt least you're honest about it. The \"Warning: I Do Stupid Shit\" tee is the most responsible thing you can wear — a heads up, a disclaimer, and a personality trait all in one graphic.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou're not reckless. You're transparent. There's a legal difference and you're choosing to lean into it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDetails:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex garment-dyed tee — soft, worn-in feel right out of the box\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBold hazard text graphic — screen printed, built to last\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted on demand\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eConsider yourself warned. Stay Hazardy.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":47799911743540,"sku":"23816868853489445880","price":28.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":47799911776308,"sku":"38877305037702017788","price":28.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":47799911809076,"sku":"28804588765539838419","price":28.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":47799911841844,"sku":"30641761252331778080","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":47799911874612,"sku":"14455423171114625321","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0758\/2797\/0100\/files\/13309360015851657357_2048.jpg?v=1778647284"},{"product_id":"t-shirt-welcome-to-the-shitshow-funny-graphic-tee-i-will-be-your-host","title":"Hazardy \"Welcome to the Shitshow\" Graphic Tee — I Will Be Your Host","description":"\u003cp\u003ePull up a chair. The \"Welcome to the Shitshow\" tee is for the ones who didn't just survive the chaos — they became the host of it. Calm, composed, and fully in charge of a situation that has absolutely no business being calm.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou didn't start the shitshow. But you're running it now. Might as well dress the part.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDetails:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex garment-dyed tee — soft, worn-in feel right out of the box\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBold graphic print — screen printed, built to last\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted on demand\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWelcome. We've been expecting you. Stay Hazardy.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":47799938777140,"sku":"33952263623581743224","price":28.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":47799938809908,"sku":"25176185866810310150","price":28.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":47799938842676,"sku":"32759715768190657940","price":28.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":47799938875444,"sku":"11164342516748733195","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":47799938908212,"sku":"24784448150934593167","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0758\/2797\/0100\/files\/3703859343356546006_2048.jpg?v=1778648593"},{"product_id":"graphic-t-shirt-i-identify-as-a-problem-statement-tee","title":"Graphic T-Shirt — \"I Identify As A Problem\" Statement Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eNot a phase. Not a mood. A full identity. The \"I Identify As A Problem\" tee is for the ones who have been called difficult, complicated, a lot — and have finally decided to just own it completely and without apology.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBold on the front. Hazardy on the back. A complete sentence in two pieces of fabric.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton — lightweight, soft, breathable (153 g\/m²)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTubular knit construction — no side seams for a smooth, clean fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRibbed crew neckline with shoulder tape to hold its shape\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTear-away label for itch-free all-day wear\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eIdentified. Confirmed. Fully Hazardy.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":47799945723956,"sku":"21353553884401633861","price":28.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":47799945756724,"sku":"32079234524482692220","price":28.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":47799945789492,"sku":"31826021918965933735","price":28.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":47799945822260,"sku":"50759146113225228448","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":47799945855028,"sku":"31646824746836255340","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0758\/2797\/0100\/files\/1879900130848592453_2048.jpg?v=1778649550"},{"product_id":"low-profile-baseball-cap","title":"Hazardy \"I May Bite\" Warning Hat — Low Profile Baseball Cap","description":"\u003cp\u003eConsider this your official warning. This hat doesn't come with a leash, a muzzle, or an apology. It comes with a message — and that message is: \u003cem\u003eapproach at your own risk.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eLow profile. Unstructured. Adjustable. Basically the hat equivalent of someone who smiles at you but you're not totally sure why.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% cotton twill\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnstructured low-profile crown\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAdjustable closure\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOne size fits most adults\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"One size \/ White","offer_id":47808490274868,"sku":"11016895301295429942","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0758\/2797\/0100\/files\/2715472472280088424_2048.jpg?v=1779085049"},{"product_id":"trucker-hat-no-calls-text-only-retro-sign-patch","title":"Hazardy \"No Calls, Text Only\" Trucker Hat — Black","description":"\u003cp\u003eDon't call. Seriously. 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Stay unbothered.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ One size","offer_id":47810469691444,"sku":"73585959656392698353","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0758\/2797\/0100\/files\/16970878619281721622_2048.jpg?v=1779084870"},{"product_id":"baseball-cap-shit-show-supervisor-low-profile-hat","title":"Hazardy \"Shit Show Supervisor\" Dad Hat — Black","description":"\u003cp\u003eSomeone's gotta be in charge of the chaos. Might as well be you. The \"Shit Show Supervisor\" hat is for the ones who didn't ask for this job but somehow ended up running the whole operation anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou didn't create the mess. You just manage it. Professionally.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDetails:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% cotton, garment-washed for a worn-in feel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLow-profile structured fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePre-curved bill, adjustable snapback closure\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eEmbroidered front design — won't fade or peel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted on demand\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWear it low. Keep your head down. Stay in charge.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"One size \/ White","offer_id":47810492923956,"sku":"37044181631453439624","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0758\/2797\/0100\/files\/7602742990610629363_2048.jpg?v=1779082168"},{"product_id":"hazardy-hoodie-pet-me-at-your-own-risk-hoodie-funny-hazard-dog-warning-pullover","title":"Hazardy \"Pet Me At Your Own Risk\" Pullover Hoodie","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou've been warned. The \"Pet Me At Your Own Risk\" hoodie is for the ones who are selective about their affection — approachable on their own terms, unpredictable on everyone else's. You might be the sweetest person in the room. You might not. Either way, proceed with caution.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear the disclaimer. Stay Hazardy.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBold \"Pet Me At Your Own Risk\" graphic print on black — wear your warning label\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWarm, cozy pullover hoodie construction built for all-day wear\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic unisex fit — versatile and easy to layer\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDouble-lined hood with drawcord — clean look, adjustable fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFront kangaroo pocket — hands-free convenience\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eApproach with caution. Results may vary. Stay Hazardy.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":47810573959220,"sku":"29084598752960783686","price":47.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":47810573991988,"sku":"98094485174571874525","price":45.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":47810574024756,"sku":"54472746885885517837","price":45.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":47810574057524,"sku":"16106982773535099086","price":47.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":47810574090292,"sku":"50296789946661363909","price":47.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0758\/2797\/0100\/files\/954125327268678771_2048.jpg?v=1779083716"},{"product_id":"hazardy-hoodie-warning-not-a-functioning-barrier-safety-sign-graphic-hooded-sweatshirt-hazardy-back","title":"Hazardy \"Not A Morning Person\" Pullover Hoodie — Black","description":"\u003cp\u003eDon't. Just don't. The \"Not A Morning Person\" hoodie is for the ones who have made peace with the fact that mornings are not their time — and have stopped pretending otherwise. You'll get there. Eventually. On your own schedule. With coffee. Maybe two.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear the truth. Sleep in. Stay Hazardy.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBold \"Not A Morning Person\" graphic print on black — wear your warning label\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWarm, cozy pullover hoodie construction built for all-day wear (starting whenever you're ready)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic unisex fit — versatile and easy to layer\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDouble-lined hood with drawcord — clean look, adjustable fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFront kangaroo pocket — hands-free convenience\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eMorning optional. Hoodie mandatory. 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